The Breathing Coach

Everyone has their own unique story, based on their own experiences, their environment when they were children, their transition from childhood to teen to adulthood, their ancestry, and their genealogy.

This is mine

Behavioral habits or programs are implemented at a subconscious level and serve as a way to be a functioning member of society. In essence, your life is a printout of these subconscious programs. Some programs are empowering, and over 50% are disempowering and limiting, the good news is that these disempowering or limiting programs can be changed through neuroplasticity to empowering programs. Just like updating your mobile phone of choice every 6 months, we can also upload new programs to our subconscious.

I was born in Mona Vale Hospital in 1968 and have lived in the Northern Beaches of Sydney my whole life. I am the eldest of 3, with 2 younger sisters. My parents are still together and will celebrate their 59th wedding anniversary this year (2023).

My parents had a calling to join an “alternate” religion in the early ’70s. I had a happy childhood in this church and met many good people and I still call some of them friends today. The church believed, through the majority of my early childhood that Birthdays, Easter, and Christmas were not days to be celebrated, and as a result, we did not celebrate them or were able to celebrate with our friends or extended family. In fact, my first official Christmas was at the age of 18. Birthdays were an interesting situation, some years we were able to celebrate them and then some years we weren’t. Confusing as a school child when invited to school friends’ birthday parties and not being able to attend due to religious beliefs one year and then the next we could. The Sabbath day was a very holy day and this was kept from Sunset Friday night through to sunset Saturday night. Church was mandatory on a Saturday and was an all-day event.

We traveled from Frenchs Forest to Ryde every Saturday. I loved playing sports and made all the school teams, however crossing over and playing on Saturdays was strictly forbidden. I was continually invited to join weekend teams but wasn’t allowed. I used to make up stories about why I couldn’t play on weekends, and I became so good at telling stories or untruths that as I grew into my teens and then adult life I continually lied to everyone including myself. I wore so many masks that in reality, I didn’t know who I was. In my mid-teens, I left the church after running away from home for a weekend as I just wanted to be normal like my school friends. I started integrating into my “friends” way of life which centered around smoking, alcohol and partying. Alcohol became my way of unleashing my inner self, I finally felt like I was being accepted as everyone was drinking and having fun and I was part of it.

I left school in year 12 and joined the local rugby side with my mates, my alcohol consumption increased, and drinking to excess and blacking out became the norm most weekends. My parents and I love them dearly, tried to intervene and as I was living at their house advised me I needed to go to AA at the age of 21. I attended a few sessions, but it did not curb my willingness to consume alcohol. Into my early 20’s I managed to date, get engaged, and marry a local girl. During this time the drinking continued and now I added in gambling, namely poker machines or card machines. There were times when I received a weekly paycheck and proceeded to drop into the pub on the way home and gamble away a good portion of the rent whilst drinking alcohol. If I didn’t have the money I made up a story that was so convincing that it was accepted. I became a very good liar and it worked. The marriage lasted 5 years, and we had a beautiful daughter, who today is independent, confident, a dream chaser, and a beautiful woman inside and out.

For the first time at the age of 31, I was single, a single dad, but I was single! And wow there was a world out there to discover and that world just happened to be the nightclub scene. So not only was I consuming large amounts of alcohol daily, gambling as well as being introduced to the illegal drug scene, the triple whammy, my life was one big party! Somehow during all these times, I managed to hold down jobs and function properly, or at least that’s what I thought. During the 9 year period of partying, I was living at my parent’s place who basically raised my daughter while I was doing me and for that, I am eternally grateful and blessed.

The culmination of my partying ways came to a halt after I met my now current partner (15 years together) and the birth of our baby daughter. I was 18 months into the relationship with my partner and our daughter was 6 months old, I was diagnosed with a heart condition, atrial fibrillation, and atrial flutter. These are heartbeat irregularities or arrhythmias that can be controlled by medication or surgery. I took the surgery option and at the age of 42, I had 3 heart-related surgeries. I now know the heart does not like being under stress all the time and due to my habits were continually living and putting my body under stress 24/7. I also had Asthma, High Blood Pressure, and a host of other problems associated with my lifestyle choices. I stopped taking illegal drugs and stopped smoking cigarettes in 2007, however, my alcohol consumption remained. In 50% of the people who have the surgery that I had, the arrhythmias return. In 2016 I had another surgery, so in the space of 6 years I had 4 surgeries on my heart, now you would think I would stop consuming alcohol, however, the urge was too strong and my body loved the feeling that alcohol gave me.

2017 saw me diagnosed with Chronic Depression. I reached out to my partner about my plan to end my life and she made me make an appointment with our GP. I went to the GP and was prescribed an anti-depressant, which made me feel good but weird. I lasted 6 months on the anti-depressants, still consuming alcohol all the while. Fast forward to 2020 and covid hit, my gut was telling me that something wasn’t right and that I needed to be healthy. I was nearing 52 in May of 2020 and I consciously made a decision that I needed to change so in July of that year I decided to do a dry July and see how I go. Not only did I do dry July but I went 3 weeks into August, so about 7 weeks in total. I felt so good that I thought this was easy, I can give up drinking alcohol any time I like, so what did I do? I went to the bottle shop and bought a nice bottle of red (shiraz was the poison of choice) as a reward and proceeded to consume the whole bottle. The next morning I awoke with an almighty headache and hangover. It took me a few days and then I started to feel good again, the following Friday I consumed another bottle of Shiraz, and woke with a bad hangover, I did this for 7 weeks straight and it wasn’t until the 7th of October 2020 that I had my last bottle of Shiraz and drop of alcohol, I couldn’t keep what felt like poisoning myself and functioning.

Today I am 2 and half years sober and have never felt better about life, myself, my relationships, and all those around me who continually amaze and inspire me to be better. Why did I do what I did to myself was the question I needed answered, and it wasn’t until I heard the phrase “Self Sabotage” did the penny drop! I thought what the hell is Self Sabotage? And this is where Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) came into my life. The ability to upload new behaviors through NLP was a game changer, so I went about being an accredited NLP coach so I could help others just like me. I am now a Master Practioner of NLP and Life Coaching (Mindset Coach, Personal Empowerment Coach, and Self Sabotage Coach are all pseudonyms of Life Coaching with NLP as its foundation) and have helped many people overcome their limiting beliefs in themselves. I am also a qualified PT and Strength and Conditioning Coach and now joining those 2 modalities I coach people through exercise and mindset to change their lives for good.

Hold the line, there was more to come in the shape of BREATHWORK! Once again what the hell is breathwork? The breath is the function that underpins everything we do, if we are not breathing correctly we are not moving correctly, and we are not living to our most efficient and effective selves.

Breathwork again changed my life for the better. I have had Asthma my whole life, from the age of 7 till the age of 53 I took Ventolin as a reliever and Seretide as the preventer. Like Clockwork I took the Seretide (Cortisol steroid) morning and night believing that one puff in the morning and one puff at night would keep my airways open and negate any asthma symptoms. Since discovering how we should be breathing, entirely through the nose, I no longer use any medication for my “ Asthma” in fact I believe I don’t have Asthma anymore! Not once in my 40-odd years of having Asthma and visiting GPS during that period, not once did they advise me to breathe through my nose! We have been gifted with the perfect breathing apparatus smack bang in the middle of our faces! Nitric Oxide is formed in the paranasal sinus cavities and is a vascular and bronchial dilator which means N.O. opens up the airways so we can breathe better! The nose filters, moistens, and humidifies the air we breathe. N.O. also has antimicrobial properties so beautiful clean oxygen heads deep into the lungs where better diffusion into the blood, and then into the tissues takes place.

2023 saw me leave my safe place of employment and delve into the world of Coaching where The Breathing Coach was born. The Coaching modalities I provide, Breathwork, NLP, and Exercise Therapy all work as I am living proof.

If my story resonates with you and you would like to work with me or have any questions about how you can take your power back or take control of your life please reach out and book a 30 min no obligation phone call.

I will end with a story that happened on the first day of my new purpose-driven life. I presented the story above to about 75 people at Dee Why Beach during a Breath and Ice Bath session approx 3 months ago and as I was walking through Dee Why I noticed this young lady in her 30s catch my eye. As I neared her she walked out in front of me and said, “you do the breath and ice baths on the beach don’t you?”,” I said yes and then said I haven’t seen you there for a while where have you been”, she promptly said “Rehab” and then she proceeded to say after hearing my unique story that it gave her the courage to make positive changes in her life. She stated that she was now 90 days sober and whilst there are daily challenges she is slowly taking back her power. This is my purpose, my life purpose, to make a positive change to empower humans to live their best lives.